11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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