I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
