so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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