i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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