Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
