Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
