So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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