Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
