Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
