My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
