You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
the raccoons are back...
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