She said her name was "party"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
