why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
