i permit you to call me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she peed on how many people?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
