Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
In America we eat man semen.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Randomize
