I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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