I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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