So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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