Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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