isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
