to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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