You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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