Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
NoShamevember. You game?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
