so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
