did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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