what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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