why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
