I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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