Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
