i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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