I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
