cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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