her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
