she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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