Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
