i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize