I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
