Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
