Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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