i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
