All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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