For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
