Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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