if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
