I'm going to jail i love you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
