so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
