Nicole vs. Life
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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