Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
