just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
