I got chris browned last night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
