Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
