what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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