Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
