He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
