I wish i was in the wii world.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
