I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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