Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
