Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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