So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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