This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize