Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
