Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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