so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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