Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Success! We fucked roommates!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
